John and Jane Go To Capetown

John and Jane’s Trip to Capetown

Ok, so the trip started off pretty good….The chief takes us to the airport, drops us along with a load of smoked silvers from Paramanof 1939 for Jerry and Chris. Zip in the exit row to Seattle, buy some more exofficio pants to try and cram into bulging suitcases (what is wrong with me…don’t I know clothes get claus too?? ) Long flight to Washington Regan to be picked up by the only family fireman/medic who does not have to worry about losing job and nepotism and taken to that home in Laurel MD, surrounded by neatly trimmed lawns and screaming neighbors to the real reason we decided to stop over for a couple of nights in the DC area.

ok they was some great food, other folks and a free bed involved. I set the record by sleeping until 1 pm only to be greeted by Jane and Dianne yappin in their pjs.

The trip over was a dream (can you spell nightmare?) The guy sitting in front of me with the broken seat weighed many stone!!! Suffice it to say the pilot would call back asking him to lean one way or the other should he have to bank the plane. There were exactly 4 inches between the back of his seat and my chin. I had to look down to see the blurred image of my in-seat TV screen. Did you know that you can stand in the galley (if you don’t mind watching the flight attendants pick up dropped sausages from the floor and toss them back onto the trays waiting to be served for the free inflight breakfast) for a long time. Suffice it to say I waited for London.

Ok, that bit of claus over we trained from Heathrow into London and checked into our Hilton Hotel only yards from the train station. They greeted us with a smoking room and after demonstrating how my wife vomits when placed in such an atmosphere we were upgraded to a two room suite!!

Both doors ours and a comfy bed.

and right outside was the station for the London Underground which would take us everywhere.

Unfortunately there is a bit of Claus on that baby also. What the hell it is about 3 stories underground and packed with all kinds of people.

Have to admit that on first venture, I had to bolt off the train, run to air and then make Jane walk about 12 miles to our destination. It did not get much better

but I learned to concentrate on other things than the fact that I was doomed to be enclosed in the hurling tube for the rest of my life. Like the first time I grimly stared at two bearded, mustached, swarthy guys wearing those things wrapped about their heads. I stared at them intently, taking my mind off the cramped space I was in…and I quickly noted that both seemed to be rather bulky under their sweaters. I began to sweat profusely, saying my prayers and knowing that at any moment one was going to stand holler jihad and blow us all to smithereens. I just about lost it when the ring leader reached towards his nose, as I know for a fact that is often where they keep the trigger. I screamed, closed my eyes and was ready…but then I opened my eyes as he wiped his finger on the underside of the bench. I figured I better concentrate on some thing else, So I began staring at this buxom Ms who was standing thigh-rubbing close to me in this cramped bullet. I had to get my mind off of the limited space. It did not help that my shirt was soaked from the near bombing, sweat was rolling down my face, and I had a bit of a tremor when her boyfriend and Jane caught me at the same time (I was only trying forget I was trapped in tiny hell). The guy wasn’t too bad but my ear still hurts from Jane dragging me out of the tube and into the

OLD VIC theater to see Kevin Spacey in Inherit the Wind …that is the play about the Monkey trial and must say this exhibit reminded me of those two little monkeys – Griffin and Eli.

Geez..I am starting to bore me. So in London for two days we visited

a church and a fountain…Jane said, “Stuff is old over here.”

Trafalger, and another play.

We did visit the Natural history building in order to get some bone shots

this is a mammal not a dino

for those two monkeys we miss…and here they are..

griffin and eli

also we knew they would want pics of their old buddy…

T REX

So then or some where about then we again clausiated (Danny, Chris, Rita, Anne – you cannot make this trip without drugs!!!) got on South Africa Airlines

along with the rest of the entire SA population…I almost cut myself on the shoe horn…but no worries the 12 hour flight was a half hour early and the tiny bathrooms were able to handle my small case of

But it was all all worth it with the wonderful greeting from Lisa

and even Chris managed to squeeze in for the greeting between changing jobs.

They had a grand celebration planned and we headed up towards Lions Head

and Table Mountain

for some champagne….Lisa graceful as ever lunges for the largest glass..

then they took us for a breakfast that almost made me break the WII fit board…

Chris has not lost his appetite…MORE LATER…..

This is not Lisa

but cute as a button.

Finally we went to a wine tasting at this hotel

and Lisa and Chris surprised Jane and I with after the long flight massages….

I was quite excited, looking forward to a muscle relaxing rub a dub!!! Lying naked on the table when PETER walked in!!!

Oh God! I must admit that it did move….right up into my throat where it barely fit along side the scream that was lodged there….I can’t really go into it but suffice to say that I was on one of those massage table where your face is in an oval as you are getting rubbed….you know how when a cute masseuse is standing at the head and leaning over to reach all the way down to the glut area, you sort of lift up your head a bit per chance to get a little contact. Well I still have lines on my face as I smashed it into the hole further and further…I looked like a facial birth after 12 hours of hard labor!!! Anyway it was the supreme IGL and we are happily escounced at Chris and Lisa’s 2 bedroom condo and tomorrow (now today) Lisa, Jane and I are off on Safari until Thursday when we come back to meet up with Chris who will be spending a couple of days in Joberg (not cause I am cool but can’t spell it…)

More later…(now that I know how to do it...)

Love ACC